Halloween wasn't much interesting. No costume, my shoes hurted me, stepped in a puddle of water and mud so my friend Crystal carried me, and then we both fell by misstepping into a ditch and I fell on the sidewalk, getting a scrape on my elbow and on my chin and neck, and didn't make my choir audition yet again nor will I ever have a chance to try out for that choir ever again because of the grade level being for only 9-10th graders, and my mom checked my grades again, and I'm failing three of my classes, how typical.
Well, perhaps this month I may get my own computer back, and I may be able to use my photoshop for once, but the chances that'll ever come out well if the disk turns out not to work like my dad's friend warned, though he said it should work, but the odds of that working out for me is very on the negative side. Oh, and the cut I gave myself on my arm is now faded to a single white line; guess I'm even more of an emo lately.
I've been practicing drawing yet again, might upload it if my aunt or uncle would let me, they can be somewhat picky at times when it comes to their stuff, thus why I rarely ever ask. Perhaps I'll practice some more. I still wanted to do open request and trade, or even always wanted to do my own contest, but what use would it be for a nobody? Besides, I guess I have to figure things out on my own, but the issue is that I've grown up being put down and forced to be an obediant "dog" and if ever I am not happy, my mom tells me to stop or she'll slap the frown off my face; if I cry, she'll find a reason to make me cry if I don't stop. And I automatically used to think that I was forbidden to be happy, that love is just a sin on my behalf, the trigger for my pain. Who knows, maybe I just have issues, maybe I'm just a moron. But why should it matter anyways...
I keep wonering what this song is, and it keeps bugging me how I cannot figure out what the song title is [link]
I envy my aunt, she's gonna go to Japan, and she said I could come with her IF MY PARENTS PAY FOR IT, and what are the chances?
Mom:no, and watch you get behind in school because of you stupid anime?
(real) Dad: why won't your mom pay for it, I'm sending her all this money, she should be able to pay for you
(step) Dad: pfft, yeah right you're crazy
and aunt Z doesn't have enough to pay for me, so so much for that wish


Maybe if I just keep drawing, maybe I'll be somewhat better for a while longer...if only I were that lucky